tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6799209974785257509.post8611046024636946128..comments2023-02-23T11:37:14.805+00:00Comments on Equipoise: Orthopedics for a Grief WalkUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6799209974785257509.post-9097643244994215712013-04-21T23:06:00.080+01:002013-04-21T23:06:00.080+01:00After posting a version of this blog on facebook -...After posting a version of this blog on facebook -- actually it was the seed of the idea for this blog entry--I had the comments below from my dear sister-in-law, Lynne Kozlowski. Her husband, Koz's beloved older brother John, died just a few years after Koz. Lynne wrote:<br /><br />"I too have travelled that road......I was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder and then with depression after John died. My therapist was wonderful in helping me to see the "normalcy" of my reactions and grieving process in conjunction with the diagnoses. AND she didn't laugh out loud at me when at my first session I expressed puzzlement that I was still grieving 6 weeks after my husband of nearly 30 years had died suddenly and unexpectedly next to me in bed. I had read some time ago that the DSM was revising it's approach to loss and bereavement. <br /><br />"The best comments, books, essays, advice came from other people who had experienced loss and survived. The worst comments were from well meaning people who had no idea how painful their words were: for example... time heals all wounds; God took him home; it's all part of God's plan; you're still young.....perhaps you will find someone else; etc etc etcetera! What a journey for sure.<br /><br />"Ya know, Celia....I really need to get my ass to England for a visit.....we have SO much to share and talk about!"<br /><br />And YES, Lynne we DO have a lot to share, talk about, and catch up on! Our cozy barn conversion awaits your visit. But if you can't make it before we hit Boston at the end of August, we'll see you then! Hugs and cheers!CeliaAHKMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00806015200694836233noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6799209974785257509.post-69906358580150791742013-04-21T22:39:19.309+01:002013-04-21T22:39:19.309+01:00Thanks, Sharla. I knew a bit about "where gri...Thanks, Sharla. I knew a bit about "where grief found you" from things Koz told me, but I didn't know much about where it left you or how you traversed the distance between those points. Hugs and cheers!CeliaAHKMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00806015200694836233noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6799209974785257509.post-81188711939884968552013-04-21T21:48:49.325+01:002013-04-21T21:48:49.325+01:00I have not lost a spouse, but I lost a son who was...I have not lost a spouse, but I lost a son who was only five years old under horrific circumstances. That was in 1982 and I, fortunately, did in fact find psychologists who provided grief couseling. (I have no idea how they coded their bills.) Of course it didn't reduce the grief, but I did learn to live with it. <br /><br />One thing that I did in the early years (say the first decade or so) was to become acquainted with other people's grief. I went to a bereaved parents group. I talked to people I knew who had lost youg children, including both of my grandmothers. Perhaps weirdly, I spent time with a cousin who was into genealogy, looking over pictures and telling each other family stories about how people died and what of, trying to understand the pattern of life and death. <br /><br />And I read books about others' experiences. I remember "Angels Unaware," by Dale Rogers about the loss of two of her and Roy's children. I believe it was there that I read a long-cherished piece of learning: grief never leaves you where it finds you. Kind of similar to Peck's commentary. I suppose everyone finds an articulation of comfort or understanding that is meaningful, and that is mine. Taking that thought in hand, I have resolved that if there is to be movement, I want it to be positive and always to honor a small courageous person. Just having a plan, even that simple, has helped these 30+ years.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02683665102014050316noreply@blogger.com